Grief Survivor

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Where is Everybody?!

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Losing a part of your life puzzle is always hard. Losing someone during a global pandemic~ indescribable. 

Remember the days when people would show up for you in person? Help you plan a beautiful service to celebrate your loved one’s life? Bring meals? Wrap you up in a warm blanket of care after a painful loss? Me too. 

This crazy world of quarantines, social distancing and Covid-19 has brought monstrous changes to life, relationships, work, school, graduations, celebrations and how we mourn those we love. The new (and hopefully temporary!) normal has been a challenge for people across the globe, but especially for those who are grieving.

Here are a few thoughts and resources that might be helpful today and in the days ahead.

1. Spend the first moments of your day with the Lord. If you’re new to reading the bible, the YouVersion app is an outstanding resource. This Grief Survivor 8 day plan might be a comforting place to start.

Find a cozy spot away from distractions and the noise of life, switch your phone to airplane mode and bask in a few moments of solitude. Reading God’s word early in the morning, journaling what’s on your heart and spending a few moments in prayer can calm anxious thoughts and set a peaceful tone for your day. Enjoy the quiet… (until you switch your phone back from airplane mode).

2. Check in with others. During this unprecedented time of life disruption and quarantine, it’s more important then ever to see faces and hear voices of people you care about. When meeting in person is impossible, Zoom or FaceTime virtual visits can be the next best thing. Consider exchanging memorable stories and photos of your loved one through social media, text or email. Better yet, why not send each other a handwritten note along with a favorite photo? Pure Gold!

3. Check out one of my very favorite sites- Nothing is Wasted. Davey Blackburn and his team have created an extraordinary podcast and content designed to help you “find purpose through the pain.” Their new online community groups are helping people around the world connect with others who truly understand.

This podcast episode is all about finding hope and healing through preserving sweet memories.

“Part of healing is just being open to the fact that it will not always be this hard.”- well I think I might have said that!

My prayer for you today is that you will find hope, healing and ultimately joy-filled life.

Mother’s Day- Remembering the Goodness

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I love my family. Like, seriously love them so much. And celebrations are one of the things we do best. Celebrating things like birthdays, new babies, rain, Gerber daisies, fall leaves and Georgia Football. I think you get the picture. Over the years we’ve lost three of our family favorites, and I remember wondering if I’d ever feel like celebrating again. Maybe that’s you right now, if you’re missing someone you love this Mother’s Day.

Here are a couple ideas I hope will help someone who is struggling right now.

Recognize the Reality

Losing my mom, aka “Beazy,” was one of the hardest roads our family has ever walked. She was the glue that held our crazy puzzle together, with her over-the-top gift of hospitality. Living her best life included welcoming strangers, taking home-cooked meals to friends and creating fun t-shirts with the grand kids at “Camp Beazy.” Mom’s grand kid camp tradition is still going strong- 20 years later!

I wish I could tell you I navigated the tough season of grief with perfect skill and grace; but my temptation was actually to run as far as I could from the pain. Can anybody relate? You may have discovered a few things that anesthetize the pain (for a minute) ~  meds, mac and cheese, maybe margaritas? Too bad that comfort can’t last! 

The one thing that did make a difference was setting aside time to get away from technology and other distractions and be still. As I rested in solitude, I’d try to allow the waves of sorrow to wash over me, rather than running from the pain. Those moments were never easy, but always seemed to bring

Remember and Celebrate the Goodness    

Back to Beazy. She was honestly no ordinary mom. Even when a kindergarten brother, who shall remain nameless (you know who you are) carved, “I LOVE MOMY” with his tiny scissors- on her mahogany dining table, she found a way to keep on loving the little criminal angel.

There was nothing you could ever do to change her crazy gigantic love for you. No matter what. To her, people were more important than things. Always.

I want to be more like that when I grow up.

If you’re missing someone this Mother’s Day, remember their story is much too important to be forgotten. I encourage you to keep memories fresh by 1) saying her name and 2) telling and re-telling her story. Reaching out on social media is an excellent way to invite friends and family to share a photo or memory- maybe even one you’ve never seen or heard before!

It was an honor to join the phenomenal Colleen Kavanaugh on The After Life Podcast to discuss how to handle special days while grieving. Hope you’ll give it a listen. 

Does your family have special traditions for celebrating an awesome person you’re missing? Please share them with us on the Grief Survivor Facebook page.

Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast!

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Hey awesome friends-

So this was cool. Here is the podcast I got to record with my friend, and host of the Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast, Elizabeth Miller.

We talked about fun families, crazy New Year’s traditions, life, loss and sparking joy… even when life is tough. Elizabeth is a pure delight- hope you’ll enjoy our conversation!

(photo cred: Austin Distel, Unsplash) thank you!