lizgmarshall

Has life ever thrown you a monstrous curve ball? Yep, me too. 

Today I want to share a few of my favorite things- a book, podcasts, apps, even some inspiration for care givers. I pray they will remind you to do something kind for yourself today and every day!  

Here you go: 

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered. New York Times Best Selling Author, Lysa TerKeurst has been through some seriously devastating things; but somehow infuses the raw realities of life with humor and hope for the future. You don’t want to miss this book! 

The YouVersion app is a wonderful place to start (or continue) a daily rhythm of intimacy with God. This easy-to-use resource includes the Bible App,  the Bible App for Kids and a phenomenal collection of topical reading plans that will meet you exactly where you are. 

Whether you’re facing grief, anxiety, divorce, caring for a family member, you name it- the YouVersion app probably has something for you. 

Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, blog and online community.  Elizabeth Miller has been a compassionate care giver for several years. Her creative content and naturally winsome attitude through it all will help you navigate care giving with life! 

That Sounds Fun podcast– with host Annie F Downs. Y’all- sometimes you just need to laugh. It’s always a joy to hear from Annie’s diverse, brilliant, musical, talented and funny friends from Nashville and all over the country. She ends every show with the question, “what sounds fun to you?”  and encourages her listeners to go out and do something fun. Note to self: do that a lot in 2020. Annie reminds me of the timeless words from Nehemiah 8:10, “The joy of the Lord is your strength!” 

And a new personal favorite of mine- The Bible Recap podcast. Host, Tara-Leigh Cobble and her team have put together an extraordinary daily (8 minute) message to go along with the YouVersion chronological Bible reading plan. TLC’s words are clear, concise and compelling- all pointing the listener to understand, “He’s (Jesus) where the joy is! 

Well, that’s it for the 2020 fave five list. Happy 2020!

Beth

We invite you to stop by the Grief Survivor Facebook Page. Your stories of love, loss, life and finding joy inspire the rest of us more than you know! 

If someone’s missing from the picture this holiday season, you’re probably wondering how in the world you’re going to make it through to January. You are not alone. It was just weeks before Thanksgiving the year my mom suddenly died; and a couple years later, my dad went to be with the Lord on December 9th. The holidays seemed like a really bad idea those years.

Here are a few things I wish I had known about grief through the holidays:

* Martha Stewart doesn’t live here. Give yourself permission to bring it all [cooking, decorating, entertaining, Christmas cards, whatever] down a notch. Do what you love and feel up to doing.

* Say the name of the person you’re missing, so friends and family will, too. Sharing sweet memories can be great therapy.

* Take time time everyday to rest. A little time in a dark room to sleep, write, cry… whatever you need to do, is refreshing.

* The Lord really is close to the brokenhearted- and will rescue us when our spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:18) If you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief right now, asking someone to pray is a great idea.

* Get together with those closest to you to make a plan for where you want to be on the holiday. Don’t let the day sneak up on you.

* There’s no need to apologize if you need to leave an event early. I’m not saying I ever did this… but parking an escape care where you can get out easily might be helpful. 🙂

* If reminiscing and sharing stories about your loved one makes you laugh or cry, both are really OK.

* You are stronger than you think you are.

What do you wish someone had told you? Please share your ideas here!

The music, yummy aromas and shimmering lights all conjure up memories of the most wonderful time of the year. But when you’re missing someone you love, the holidays can magnify the deep loss you’re feeling. 

When my family lost a couple of our closest and favorite people – different years, but both within days of the holidays, “merry and bright” felt 1000 miles in the rear view mirror. Maybe you understand what I’m talking about.  

So, how do you not only make it through the holidays, but create some sweet moments to savor?  Hopefully these three quick tips will help: 

Keep it Simple

Imagine November and December without a manic pace of cooking, decorating, entertaining, shopping and endless events. You can make it happen, but it might take a little rethinking what you’ve always done and embracing a little extra white space on your calendar. 

If cooking, house guests or shopping spark joy for you, by all means do those things. But if there’s part of your holiday routine that multiplies the madness, give yourself permission to stop the insanity! 

Schedule intentional evenings at home by the fire sipping a warm beverage with your closest people. Say yes to the activities you love, and no to the rest. Being kind to yourself can create a sense of calm, even during a chaotic season. 

Keep Your Sanity

Spend more time with people and doing things that energize you- and less with any that  suck the living daylights out of  exhaust you.  

Keep it Fresh

Write the good stuff in a journal. Record sweet, serious or fun stories of the person you’re missing. 

Stories like the day my hilarious sister-in-law, Kay offered me the keys to her  metallic purple dune buggy- to drive to high school! Clearly 7 of the coolest hours of my life!.  

And the time she (black belt in shopping and all things NYC) led a girl trip to The City for 2 days of Hard Rock Cafe, Broadway, Carmines and of course full contact shopping! Good thing no boys were invited on Kay’s girl trip. NY shopping would have felt like fishing with the game warden. 🙂 

This holiday season I hope you’ll find time to: 

* create a place to keep memories, photos and recipes. 

* cook up one of those yummy recipes, grab a warm beverage and curl up by the fire.

* tell, retell and celebrate the stories of the person you’re missing. They’re much too important to be forgotten! 

Here’s a super helpful article – 64 Tips for Coping with Grief at the Holidays from our friends at What’s Your Grief. 

We invite you to visit the Grief Survivor Facebook page- and share some of your holiday tips.  

Photo cred: Dilyara-garifullina on Unsplash 

It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years this week since my best friend/ mom, Beazy’s sudden death. She and her handsome new husband Herb, (aka Herbie the Love Bug) were living their best life nestled in the beautiful NC Blue Ridge Mountains.

Nobody could have ever guessed their happily ever after would end so suddenly. 

In the days and weeks that followed the shock of our lifetime- my brothers,  sisters and I scrambled to figure ways to make the holiday season feel a little less devastating. What would Beazy do? 

She would:

make a plan and gather with her closest people.

turn up the music and cook up all things pumpkin spice.

dress all the small people in her hand-smocked holiday dresses and smocked jumpsuits superhero outfits for the little boys. 

open her home to anyone who didn’t have family in town.

remind us of her signature statement, “there’s no problem with Beazy.” 

make sure the people she loved most knew it. Every single day.  

How about You? 

If you’re missing someone right now, you might be wondering what the holidays will look like. I want to remind you that You are Not Alone! Consider gathering with your closest people to share funny memories, music and a meal that reminds you of them. Nothing fancy, just a time and space to celebrate someone who is much too important to be forgotten! 

Do you have a favorite story about your loved one? Please share it with us on the Grief Survivor Facebook page.     

This NewSpring Church article has a few tips for the holidays; and here is one that might help in the season to come.

God’s peace, my friends.  

Hey you…
Yea you…
The one who thinks the world may be better off without you…
The one who may think that you don’t have it in you to love another day…
I’ve got news for you.
You. Make. Today. Better.
You. Matter. Very. Much.
We. Need. You. Here.
You’ve. Got. This.
Today is National Suicide Prevention Day.
Every year 800,000 people die from suicide.
That’s 1 person every 40 seconds.
For every death there are 25 additional attempts.
In the last 10 years suicide rates have increased MORE THAN 70% in kids ages 10-17.
It’s 4 times higher in the LGBTQ community.
WE CAN’T STAY SILENT ABOUT THIS AND HOPE IT GETS BETTER.
That’s 800,000 too many people.
So today I want all of you to let everyone you come in contact with that they make today better.
Suicide is real.
But so is HOPE.
We can end the epidemic.
My friends @twloha are attempting to sponsor 3,000 counseling sessions for those in need this year.
I understand that sometimes you can’t outsmart your feelings. It’s ok. You don’t have to.
If you are thinking about suicide please reach out to a friend or text TWLOHA to 741741.
I’m standing in front of some photos of some of my reasons to live. They need me. We need you.
#WSPD2019 #YouMakeTodayBetter

Thank you for this, Carlos Whittaker.

This NewSpring Church article is my family’s personal story of life after losing a loved one to suicide.   Please join us on the Grief Survivor Facebook Page and leave a comment.

What’s the scariest thing you can imagine happening? You probably don’t have to think very hard. Most of us have something in mind that would be the unimaginable, impossible-to-survive scenario.

Is it an earthquake? An IRS audit? A frightening medical diagnosis? Flushing your iPhone?

What if one of these scary scenarios really happened?

The crazy thing about “what ifs” is that most of the time, they never actually occur.

I want to introduce you to my friend, Jesse Roberts. Jesse is a really smart guy- and a survivor. By the time he was 16, Jesse had already experienced most kids’ worst nightmare- the loss of both of his parents. Even though Jesse has been through immeasurable adversity, he is still standing, and is stronger than ever.

I love the way he has allowed his pain to help shape his purpose- a life devoted to helping other people. Jesse recently opened his own practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor…Wow. I love his heart!

Jesse and I have talked about the value of living in the moment, and enjoying exactly where you are right now, as a powerful weapon against anxiety.

Embracing the present will crush the ‘what ifs’ running through your mind.

And even if the [terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad] thing ever did happen- you’d only have to experience it ONCE!

Wise words, Jesse. Thanks, I needed that.